this is one of my favorites....exclusive..

Pops: Corey: Me Now

You taught me to shoot free throws John Barry
Shoulders slouched from burden to carry
staying strong when eyes get teary
souls broken windy and weary

You taught I’m like god
so when I spoke others would fear me
above anyone else
before loving another must love oneself
strength detoriated
then regained health
Viceroys 22s other women
sucking your wealth
Knowledge wisdom understanding
all a part of creator’s masterplan
in the game of life
I asked you what is it
to be a Nuyorican man?

He said
I chose your name wash away pain and evils
in my brain
Little frame contains
passion rhythm sorrow in veins
I prayed every night you would not be
the same

Anthony
Almighty alchemy
No more nights of nothing
Turning tides times tumbling
Hello hope
Open ocean
Natural nocturnal
Elegance eternal

Tony reverse
y not
question each lesson

Upon looking at life’s contract
I developed cocker spaniel cataracts
iris milky like magical antidotes
glassy eyes
mirrors of my people’s hope
so why vote?

Blue note atmosphere
Ra said no joke
Sky sheds bloody tears
looks broke
empty pocket clouds out like tongues
when windy
I shake like puddles rippling
open field nostril flare
tremble as flames light personal trees

in shaking shadows
degrees drop deferred dreams
drown deez drip like leaky faucets
annoying sirens shatter silence
smoke slides violently

Violet dusk dances over orange cherry streetlights
Memories are piss colored with time
like brittle pages of dusty books
Tomorrow is a bounced check
Shiny rubbery basketball
In the winter
dribbling with gloves
no fingertips

Hard to have a grip
when filled with many vices
F*ck it
Life is one big roll of the dice

confusion is misused.

pa'lante
ant

que pasa gente, been a rough weekend. not rough in the i'm partying getting f*cked up sense, but rough but the kid was definitely on broke status. i've been waiting on checks from poetry gigs for like a month and half. to me, that is ridiculous because these people only sit behind desk and sign checks all day long, so i don't know what the problem is. all i know is that i wrote some haikus about it.

industry rule 4080 haikus

where is my paper
i've been waiting on this check
seems like forever

do you understand
this is bizness not pleasure
don't want to get rude

COD EZ
off the books no wack taxes
str8 up what it is

playin with money
is f*cking with emotions
i don't like to cry

the number one thing i hate about this biz is how long you have to wait to get a check for a gig. that's why whenever i do something by myself i get the money or check DAY OF performance. that way after i ripped down your school, i get my money. everyone's happy not like me waiting forever.

if anyone has heard of me through def poetry, migente, a performance @ your school and want me back there holla @ antmoralesnyc@hotmail.com

peace folks
luchando, ant

what's good folks, i've been trying to figure out how to mess around with the site a little something. i graduated!!! all done with this BS finally. i received my master's in English Education. feeling very good to have worked at something and accomplish it. it was crazy a protester ran up on PrezBo and shouted "columbia kills animals! columbiacruelty.com!" i fell out. my last commencement was right after 9/11 so that was not happening back then. we all went out to miss mamie's spoonbread on 110th. it was delicious. been checking out some other people's blogs and they got their game tight. i try to update as often as i can but i be at work chilling or writing.

as much as i like blogs, there is an element of overcommunication with this. some people try to put every detail of their lives on this thing, me, i just try to hit yall with the daily update and perhaps some words of wisdom. but i definitely have to step up the blogging grind.

i love this spoken word performance game, but the part i hate is waiting on paper. checks should have been in my pockets a while ago.

please don't vote for bush. i got better grades than him.

if you haven't heard WHY? by Jadakiss/Anthony Hamilton cop any new mixtape...crazy..

get at me folks i haven't heard from many of you in too long.

ant

“To accept one’s past - one’s history - is not the same as drowning in it, it is learning how to use it.” -unknown quote, just sum sh*t I read

You can take the person out the ghetto but you can’t take the ghetto out the person. I’ve been to a typical New England Boarding School - Andover - and an Ivy League institution - Columbia University - and I still feel like if I go crazy tomorrow, you will find me on a corner or near a park’s benches - zoned out mumbling or shouting one of my poems. Not that my sh*t is classic material that you can mouth off & people will finish your sentences, but to me it gets no realer because I know everything that I write about.

We need to put some type of order to the chaos of everyday living & I do that by bridging the gaping gaps left by my lower miseducation. I need to see life happening while routine is in place. Mostly everyone’s past is fractured in some hairline or compound way. The real question is how do we place the jagged edges back together? Overlap is sometimes okay but we don’t want no black holes we can’t return from either.

Before we can accept our oppressors, we must see ourselves purely and examine the ways we’ve been tainted. Me - by this point all the good/bad parts are together blurred into non descript emotion that causes me sometimes to feel frozen & I be shivering in the sun. I wonder how I even have the language to tell you this pain. That saying it would have been better to be blind than to see the ugly realness of reality - I do be feeling that way because so many folks I see not even questioning their positions with smiles on their faces while I wallow in empty satisfaction sulking in silence with a chorus of apathetic apologies in hushed harsh tones.

We use history like Dutches unwrap split discard the extra & roll it just right so that we can pull for a while. The Puerto Rican Day Parade is beautiful some don’t even know what the place is or looks like. All we know are coquis coquitos chupacabras chuletas bloody battered bochinche pernil PR Air Force 1s & you can find us screaming Que Bonita Bandera & WEPA til we lose our voices.

The future? That’s a heavy question but let’s hope the answer is a beautiful canela baby eyes like midnite at la playa climbing out of its colonial crib with bars crawling towards the sunset over the projects reaching for the moon while smiling.

-Morales, 2004

what it is folks, i hand in my final paper today y ya, se acabo. i'm done with my school career just for a minute. i've been going to school since i was 3 years old and 20 years later a long way from seven corners day care. my final paper is called "your revolution will not be between these thighs: rejecting female objectification and subverting stereotypes through the female mc in hip hop" the female mcs i focused on were lauryn hill and jean grae. both are amazing women and crazy ill rappers. everybody knows about lauryn but hardly anyone reps jean grae. she had a bugged out article in allhiphop.com, but i definitely gives her props.

notable times @ columbia university:

*my first day when columbia security threatened to call nypd on me and my mother trying to move in

*zack waldman living right across from me freshman year 747 john jay

*my RA tried to bust me for smoking. dan always hated me and i hope he is living life the way he wants, smoke free

*sneaking out during pledging to see a show at wetlands, and the fiends doped up on the train

*late night munchie runs to koronet and jjs place

*109th and columbus getting knocked for the first time

*my program director telling me it's obvious when people who come from household that typically don't have books are amazed when they see our collection. i understood thank you

*hating almost all my classes except hip hop culture, nicole marwell's independent project, kenneth koch, victor lavalle, families communities as educator and others

*performing at other colleges and schools while trying to finish

*my final paper on nuyorican poetry

i'll write more later....ant

what's good everyone my bad it's been a minute but I'm almost done with everything just got one more paper. This is an excerpt from my final master's project...hope you feel it, these are the people i deal with everyday. peace everybody we need to get twisted once i graduate.....ant


My Kids

Sterling Cepeda’s dream
Is to be the 2nd Dominican NBA player
after Felipe Lopez and he will have
his own throwback jersey #1
with matching Nike Air Force One
signature shoes

Jonathan Cerda likes to walk
around hallways
white tee looking like a dress
eyes empty looking like stress

Aaron Ramon tells me
I’m not your fams
so please don’t call me that
as he sits in the back of the room
calling girls ugly
reading eye candy in XXL

Class 303 wylin out
not listenin sittin lookin’ at each other
crackin jokes on themselves
never crack a book
or lift a pen to open up
beyond tellin’ everyone to “SHUT UP!!!”

Glorivi Peralta writes that
nobody understands her
She feels like she is large fea (ugly) and dark
so there will never be a boyfriend
but she swears she won’t go crazy again

Brian Rodriguez’s dream is to publish
his first book at the same time
as his platinum 1st album
Available at your local 125th bootlegger
and Barnes & Noble

Jose & Giraldi make fun
and laugh at the fake Dominicanos
who called them hicks
next breath they are
pounding each other
giving free cocotazos
for excusing one another
of tirando peos (throwing farts)

Nilka, Sofia, Arisleidy and Stephanie
Dominicanas En Vogue
sing the last song they heard
en Sajoma before coming to NYC

Norlberto and Luigi download
and bump the latest Tego Guasa Guasa
macking chorties to the rhythm of perreo

Class 203 while typing up
their ESL homework
seranade each other with
Aventura’s Obsesion

Lil Freddy Difo quiere pelear (wants to fight)
con Willy for drawing
a mustache on his mustang
picture he laminated to his desk
all of class 234 echoes his war cry
“Payaso!!” (Clown)
“Mama Huevo!!!”

Class 234 learning English
saying Puddle window
watching feeling
Ms Del Rosario giving them
HW stars and praise for trying
stammering and stumbling
taking their first steps towards
freedom to assimilate

Luy Medina 2 foot fro stutters
when asked the meaning
of freedom but enunciates
Biggie’s Gimme tha Loot
syllable for syllable

Rosylvia Vazquez
says her biggest accomplishment
was the 1st time she moved into
her own room in her own house
after living so long in the shelter
because of landlord arson

Jael Luzon sits in the back of class
watching wind flow outside
I ask him when we will he get started
C’mon you know I don’t mess
with that poetry stuff
I’m gonna be the Dominican Lloyd Banks

The Medrano Sisters
Ninoska big emotions
wide as oceans would write about
her tear drop scars
and future fantasies fulfilled
Francis sickle cell strong
courage creates art & life
through each defiant pencil stroke

Rebecca Garcia & Kedwin Zapata
run after each other
hitting and hugging on the low
when told they will be married
He calls her a wench
She calls him a toad

Sodanys Paulino wanted to live
far far from the hood
Big mansion forty rooms forty bathrooms
enough for kids and family members from
back home

Jonathan V. never wanted to leave the hood
someone might merk him while at
one of those suburb malls
shopping for teddy bears with his son
jealous of his hood richness

Ariel De La Nuez says
he will be a professional flyweight
paper ball fight champ

Kimberly Lopez always remembers
the first time her mother cried
She said it felt like the Polo Grounds
spirits came alive

Yesenia Gutierrez thinks
she gets judged unfairly and mistreated
everyday in school
kids make fun of her
because she is Mexican

Feliciano Perez goes on the internet
to look at pictures of Puebla
and get misty eyed

Elianne Mejia screams in Open Room
just because she gets good grades
don’t make her not cool
She is who she is
& proud/tells Manny that
he is a pussy because he cursed at her
and was absent the next day

Roderick Rasuk will wait
for his mother to give him
fresh white tees and fresh jordans
for failure while she sobs
at Parent Teacher Night about
where he sees himself in 5 years
Maybe dead maybe hustling I don’t know

Terrell Moody is just like his name sounds
Terrell Moody. He was scary too big for his age
Lloking 17 while 12 used to always say
It’s because I’m black right?
Picked Erica Frias, self described
Dominicana princess, up by both arms
and threw her over 2 desks crashing
headfirst into lockers.
He waited to go platinum & be in the NFL
while writing elegant odes to his Nubian sisters

Nicole Owens is a self described
ghetto queen who reads Shel Silverstein
& Nikki Giovanni/ speaks her mind
& thinks about living her dreams
says that all teachers is foul
even they got they own schemes

Ramon Belliard asks me
if he can write about Mephisto
and El Diablo and how the Devil
is about to reign on the world

Derrick Barnes is the next Nas
spitting rapid fire verses
about being broke & hustling
overcoming all struggle
Told me stories about Joe Dirt
the kid who always got sonned
& picked on but rose up
to be the biggest baddest willie on the block

Class 209 Marior Penelope & Daury
describe America
Shut UP America
Go to Hell America
Xenophobic America
Racist America
Why are you so cruel America?

Fat Jessica Sanchez
poured her soul out
in journals scribbled sloppy
spelled culture like KULCHER
as if some villian
sometimes it is
described her heartbreak
from Eric Castro
gave away the only thing she had left
& how her Pops never listened to her
she is expecting late summer
hustler is her husband holdin her down
said her cousin

Edward Perez, fly boy smart tough
young brother wrote deep verses
on wrinkled paper bout trying to
go straight/seen what it was like
in those streets won’t be 3 strikes
seen Moms tears after popped
Walk away young bro
Stay free

Angelicas - there was a few only want
to shout out two in particular:

Angelica Arache aka Princess
Future as bright as smile first one like
Read my poem frustrated with fickle dudes
bum attitudes & shorty what’s your number?

Angelica Matias aka Muneca
talked & cried during lunch periods
Moms was grimy treated her like
used dishrag/used to talk about
haze bags/she thought she might be
butch/relationships she’s the wrong one
to push/cuidado chica
Don’t take on too much
too soon

Ivanna Jimenez cried when she,
honor roll student, class president
teacher helper, daughter of PTA president
got rejected from everyone
of her high school choices
as
Felix Vega, fatboy next level MC
classroom heckler
known to do nothing
jumped up & down
celebrating acceptance to G Dubbz
(George Washington High School)

Leo Sanchez was a ghetto Neruda
writing Love Poetry for crushes
& gospel poetry to unite the people
under GOD/walked with him
back to the crib/there was issues
in the crib/ he was almost cryin
like Morales times is hard
Times is hard



-Morales, copyright 2004