4.27.2010

Not the Same




Not the Same


 


The crib been silent


Stories been muted


Voices with clich├ęd overdubs


Capturing attention


Right after these commercials


From corporate sponsors


That have colonized our family


Used to watch TV while eating dinner


No playback of each others daily highlights


Just school and work


Institutions designed to distance us


Add the finishing touches


On a montage of moments that will capture


All the laughter and disaster


Collect the remains gather the broken images


From the backwards peacock mirror


To transport you forwards towards what to come


Run around the courts and fields


To work up the sweat and appetite


Developed acquired taste


For not acting right because I’d match my mind


To the continual movement of doors opening and locking


Bed right above entrance and exit


Thought I could get precise directions


On where I should be headed


I read recognition  it screamed off the page


At that age still trying to recover


Something that won’t be found


 


Those calls bounce through walls


Those drums dance in dreams


The unseen became in front of face


Now turned away trying to handle


Understanding with slippery grip on what I can’t
grab


Room been a lab of battling histories


Experimenting with mysteries


Examining the astrology


Of absolutely no apologies


If only it was magic everybody might reappear


Instead this is another empty night


Me and my shadow for company


Only none of these stock options have gone public


Nothing absence of space


The transferring of matter into product to say something


Your heart been a peanut shell


A door open to a cell


Waiting for the invitation


When was the last time


Faces in a picture were altogether


Like an original ensemble


Our classic hits leave me trembling


Resembling a group gathered to make history


Not fade away like colors run in the sun


Where we would squint and pinch


If only the light would last


A little longer













They will cling to you

They will cling to you…..- Robert Frost

 

All that static will make it stick

The letter people provide the music

Patty cake patty cake

Red light green light 123

If only your grownup life

Was as easy as ABC

All these verses have vindicated your view

Please don’t get your blues confused

Muse composed of memories

So poignant you can taste fingerprints

To remember how you entered

Everywhere always with love

Lifting you higher than standing up

Could ever allow               beads of sweat on your brow

Stuck on figuring the how when right now

The flow imperative to keep it wavy

Crashing it against the coast

Surfing over the flood where you able to catch

What remains below the bottom

Forever stuck in the groove

You can never lost what’s left behind

Has blessed you going forward

Fully aware of all angles

The circumference of your surroundings

Have showed you constellations of angels

Who chill with you and bounce echoes

Of the block’s brilliance to your brain

The rain reminds you of rice

Overflowing on plates

where you picked out each bean

skip right to the next chapter

on those nights where you diced your dreams

watching their elegant explosions

or how they’ve withered in the sun

the derivatives of your disappointment

are daily discussed on the Dow Jones

the misery market is in high demand

of your painful productions

short supply on happiness

hot commodity on Main Street not so much on Wall

where you been off defining your wealth

in spiritual ends not material means

mo money mo murder mo homicide

mo tears mo problems survive til solution arise

are you surprised the wind blew out

the candles before you could wish

to make an early exit before you arrived

thrive off the thrill of staying so ill

your still life would have a collage of you coughing

photo series of flavors of phlegm

no end non stop ellipsis analysis

of your culture catalyst

how will you get the fuse sparked?

The morning light

Shatters the night dark

Searching for what will stay

Stay searching

Love I’m still working


Fuck My Life




Fuck My Life


 


Tease my temptations


Arouse my anger


Awaken my apathy


Slow dance with struggle


Strobelight my sexiness


Wink away worry


Run your fingernails along my spite


Lick my tight spot


Tongue down my terror


Make my toes curl from your chemicals


Be kind to my kidneys


Embrace my ethnicity


May my seasonings swallow your taste buds


Pound my pain


Give everyone of my openings orgasms


Until the tender places spasm


Muscle contractions massaged


With essential oils to smooth out the tension


Make your reason relax start to purr


Like a kitty rubbed the right way


Reveal my secrets in a whisper


That might heal a wounded heart


Turn me on keep my engine humming


Dry hump my hope


So my love rocket with lift off


Guarantee that you are gonna give it to me


Just the way I like it


If you work it just so


I’ll scream and make noises


I won’t fight it













4.15.2010

Last night turned into this morning

Last night turned into this morning

I’m just glad I made it back to the crib

Wobbling trying to figure out how to live

Just a kid who grew up too quick

Walking on the concrete tears make road slick

 

Philosophies misspelled while being overwhelmed

At the edge just blowing with the wind

On the odyssey focused on journey back where it started

Perpetual search home of the brave hearted

 

The beginning of the exodus

Said feels so foreign reversal of direction

Moments of introspection leave physical without protection

In school and the streets learned lessons about values

Keep going eventually you might understand

Fortuitous timing hopping on the Bx5 bus

After building with JB BC KCino and Snaxx

Seeing through the lies finding actual facts

The hood is still alive just trying to live

in the moment right now is priceless

split Sesame Chicken combo with my mama

to revive the reason for passion or legacy

hope that the spirits don’t get ahead of me

looking up to evaluate the destiny

trying to feel like home is where the heart is

 

on every side of the city feeling your memories calling you back

at least say what up cause you need to show that love

pumping through veins mixed with intoxicating intentions

of instigating the movement to manifest your monuments

of the wonderful ways the world has hugged you even when

you said fuck frustration and forget about future

not used to embracing the inevitable rather remember the regrettable

instead of letting go too easy to hold on to genius like a cold world

the night before when you woke up to realize your eyes are your cries

bouncing back to connect sound and sight

the precise coordinates of your capability are exactly plotted

but there is no map to guide

no sense of reflection can provide

on your path please don’t leave behind laughter

account for your blessings carry over all struggles

upchuck your agony regurgitate your reputation

wipe away your worry puke pessissm spit out silence

swallow tomorrow yak yesterday appreciate the present

refresh your revolution wherever you rest your head is heaven


Creative Consumption

Creative Consumption

 

You want to text while brushing your teeth

Full command of the internet underneath your eyelids

In tune with intuition you stream

The revolution in real time for reality TV

you inhale the outtakes find it funny

Because your fingertips forecast the weather

Index up you broadcast tonight’s ballgame

All the same agony switch channels telepathically

Transmit tragedy by opening mouth

High definition heaven on a panoramic screen

Digital footprint twelve steps to the American Dream

Scan the barcode on your brain

To recreate your memories for Top 10 highlights on ESPN

No need to tell a friend they have previewed your thoughts

Considered guilty did jailtime in womb

Before even stepping foot in court

Nation at war that’s the theme park attraction

On Planet Earth with hologram distraction

Satisfaction from the surreal

Easy to have mass appeal

even your breathing has a 360 deal

your misery is marketed

Pain promoted and poverty publicized

Cranium is commercialized

feed off your future like culture vultures

the day you stop buying

existence is dying

it’s over


9 weeks til June




9 weeks til June/Summer Break Started


 


Young brains on vacation


Futures float away on paper planes


All I wanna hear is gunshot


Cashier ringing then take your money


Bellies rumbling hungry


Heartful of the hood


Soul shaking towards young face


First place informality


Higher and higher on tragedy


Masters in apathy ready to declare


Deadly I don’t give a fucks


Followed by lovely don’t leave me


Caught in between the too warm breeze


Bacon egg and cheese breaths


Deblt with high interest can’t be repaid


When constantly held back in each grade


Sharp as the blade that shaped eye brows


Instead of saying what son should ask how


The right now will evaporate quicker


Than smiles after bad news


So much to prove and everything to lose


Been lost before understood


the hidden taxes and costs


can’t even cheat right


getting caught on the regular


they say lack of motivation in molecular


I believe mediocrity


Is an acquired taste


Small sips of cynicism


turn big gulps of misgivings


we are quick to forecast their fate


doors to their imagination


imagined nation


must be open late













4.13.2010

New dawn new day

New dawn new day

 

Waking up to birds singing

Envisioning brighter days stuck in the same place

Each minute there’s a message

Beggin to be discovered

So much original trauma you’ve never recovered

Scribbling the details with mysterious ink

Often times neighbors with the brink of insanity

But you never want to fear to pay a friendly visit

Every hood story short on specifics

Heavy innuendo with slight touch of personal hatred

Take each testimony with helpings of sodium

Hood loves to pontificate likes to hear themselves

On top of the ghetto podium

It all comes with 5 senses of urgency

Turbulence a steady part of this nutritious

Fried sustenance that might suffocate

Easier to procrastinate than elevate

Fuzzy measurements to precise equations

Results in rough outlines engrained in concrete

Cycles of vitals not found in the bible

Though these elegant angels keep searching

Every sound birthed pleasures of inevitable uprisings

As sun arises new possibility on the horizon

Relentless collection leads to pretentious depression

Without evaluating the circumstance

Predictions of happenstance

Brings death wherever you happen to stand

Capture courage at your command

 

These souls have sprouted flowers

Even in most treacherous of conditions

For your people you chuckle

At the miracle of their existence

Let alone yours

Standing there taking mental pictures

You hope and pray will develop

So many unopened bills still the envelope

Waiting to reveal jackpot to destiny rerouted

Impossible to scribe the summary that unlocks

The vision you have stepped right out of prison

Still have nightmares of being right there

Where you were fed Newports laced with nihilism

A cell full of self loathing

Location to love lost to reflections of real shit

You thought you may have the answer but you hear

 

Yo yall violated my G

Just you watch the world

Gonna wash yall lil niggas

The shorties scream at the top of their lungs

Just to get their moments in the sun

Where you wish you could walk right up

To smile laugh out loud at your dirty laundry

Indeed all our shit stink

Wonder at the beauty of your imagination

Sit back roll up

Zone out

Just think


Affirmative Proaction

Affirmative Proaction

 

I seek endless possibility from the unseen

I tried to put my people on to a Love Supreme

They told me turn that pretty shit off

Don’t define the hustle

 

Around here we need sounds

Like Big Pun on the timbales and Tito Puente rappin

Like we need Jesus dropping exclusive mixtapes

With hot 16s from Allah Buddha and Ganesh

Like Hector Lavoe having a driveby on Calle Luna Calle Sol

Like Das Efx going platinum with Hip Hop is outta Control

Like Louis Armstrong having a smokefest with Snoop

Like Billie Holliday singing StrangeFruit in autotune

 

We need Lil’ Wayne to be the next Michael Eric Dyson

Mike Tyson to be a counselor for peace

What if Major Leagues went on strike

for illegal immigration raids

 

Switch the scales of justice put CEOs in a cage

Each Dutch should have a fortune

Inside after you split

The cornerstore could have maps

for your life’s destination

all malt liquor will have

the same nutritional content as OJ

High Fructose Corn Syrup

Are the new steroids

So the hood is juiced up

Producing Olympic Gold medalists

Every phone booth has a direct line

To the White House 311 center

 

Around here we cool with the cockroaches

because they clean up crumbs

pigeons stay shitting on you

for good luck

squirrel in they own world just trying to get a nut

all the dogs and cats out for last scraps

don’t stray from the pack

like a mosquito you quick to get clapped

 

ain’t too many ready to change all dat

 

born where the air slaps you for just thinking

 

College professors should give out

Political philosophy classes down at the precinct

The law school should set up shop at Central Bookings

 

One day I dream of smiles

instead of frowns everywhere I’m looking

 

the sun shine screams I love you from the sky

the stars say What up when you step outside

 

faith is the final frontier

the whole hood trying to go out there

next weekend


Sketching the Hood

Sketching the Hood

 

Ill description              violent prescription

Switch rearrange perspective

Shift the individual to collective

My feelings are disposable local and global

Sanitation type sanitarium

World is my oyster

Can’t swim in the aquarium

 

Open up the soul with a Caesarian

To empty and disinfect the womb’s tomb

At the sight of the full moon

Strange activities symbolic of doom

 

At once everything transforms beyond storms

Of normality upon facing reality

I see so many fatalities challenge me

To keep balance on high wires in the circus

So often feeling without the fire without purpose

Struggling to feel empowered against machines

Controlling regulating breathing

My fantasies are fleeting a swift retreat

Overstanding the outcomes

Combining the consequences within consciousness

Even courage is contagious

Like confidence quick to catch on

Prevent your pain and pity from being passed on

Like overdue bills to next of kin

Even in death you still gotta pay to win

You can lose love for free

Life will slip through fingers

Faster than grains of sand

What are the latitudes of your attitude

And longitude of your longings

 

If you mapped out your mistakes

Would there be an expressway for evil?

Could you dial 911 for emergency

Cause you low on energy

It’s been eating you up inside

Time to reroute the mission

Reevaluate by any means necessary

You been tragically forced into positions

Where you actually have to give 2 shits

You pass off your fiber to anyone

Who dare listen

Back to your tradition stop wasting your time

The hate of the world suspends endless rhymes

You convicted yourself before the jury considered the evidence

You evicted your greatness because of loud music and rent negligence

Your bowels have been constipated with beef intoxicating the ozone

Even if ET was long distance he still couldn’t phone home

Your cat is speaking your words right back

Allergic to apathy hard to compete with your reflection

Of a better future that lapped you and left you in the same place

Same race you been running but only memories of better yesterdays

You clearly add myths to your own history to make it shine brighter

If you don’t push this pen by no means are you a real writer

Just resting on your laurels many thought bubbles get filled

So much potential participation gets killed

So you spill quarts to the ground attempting to gather spirits around

Who all tell you to keep pushing              keep looking up never down

Keep your tongue sword clashin sharpen skills to the point

Keep your people in your view tell em how our hearts sound

 


Subtle inequalities

Subtle inequalities

 

Add up all your sad moments

To create a happy hour

Half priced drinks to make you smile freely

I’ll take a pint of power and a shot of strength

Give me nonstop 25 cent gold medals for living

Don’t let a papercut slice your promise

No diss song should subtract your potential

Exercise democracy over available instrumentals

Don’t waste time hyped off your most gangsta rhyme

Believe your words if they reflect in the mirror

Although tap water is clearer Poland springs are contaminated

Big gulp to quench thirst absorbing hatred

Release your waste flush it all away

Once the sun goes down tomorrow is that brand new day

Do with it what you will keep it moving

Ill do this like ants carrying infinite body weight

Can’t really escape trapped within 4 walls of barbed wire barrios

Assuredly confused absolutely blurry definitely doubtful

See where I’m at but can’t anticipate what I’m about to do

Beyond a figment stereotype your pigment melanin molds minds

Makeup like artificial painting smirks on quick work

We wear the mask haven’t removed the bandaids

From wounded frowns since back before birth

Eliminated so you were innovated renovated to realize

There are really no surprises only further pinky swear

Of broken leftovers and colder reactions

Shrug your shoulders to keep head on straight

That false sense of security will lead to

Breaches and bars and gates and fences

Remind yourself of the simple benches

You have gone far barely survived

Just woke up still got sand in eyes

Can barely focus looking for better days

In the forecast for the ones who got

Their own piece of sweetness

Sugary starch can leave you stiff

Stuck with forward momentum going nowhere fast

Standing running rapidly in case of emergency

Urgently contact closest confidant

So you can spill the cream highest of the crop

To the bottom of the bucket mistrusted the higher meaning

Disbelieved the bochinche scanned the barcodes

Let that bass boom rattle your rearview

While eyes glued in front of windshield

Can’t reveal what hasn’t been concealed

When the air rips you down the essence

Try to remember the presences of porqueria

To calm your nerves bomb your words

Across blank canvas you can cause damage

Internally exhibit extraordinary energy

The anxiety must not be entertainment

No longer allowed to dwell on premises you been evicted

Confused by which way is back home must be twisted

Engagement an exorcism of ego

Pa’lante powerfully

Exit evil


Mourning




Mourning


 


I have lost more poems


Than I have scribbled


Midnite moments evaporate


Into memories of coulda been hits


I swear that shit was hot


 


Imagine the masterpiece


Theatre presentation you missed


In your mind countless ideas


Circle like autumn fallen leaves


The gaggle of geese are giggling


The flocks of birds holla


ayo in different pitches


 


you are accused of not being


prolific so specific yet vague


still talking yet to explain


in tune with sounds of nature


dehydration of desire


dedicated to dumb shit


more intelligent to be irrevelant


 


you wonder why your Pops


was in love with Jonathan Livingston Seagull


as you see gulfs between each other


ships passing blindly through day


chips devoured by night


unshakable hunger consumes


or at least is telling you to


 


continue though doubtful


a challenge to balance


like video games with broken controller


you are the sole owner of your soul


hard to believe


you might have to gas yourself up


to acknowledge the actual fact


in the mirror that can’t break


 


no mistakes jinx or bad luck


gotta keep it moving can’t be in same spots stuck


nice to visit give daps what up


same shit just a different horizon


what’s surprising is your threshold


for physical pain is papercuts


but your emotions are enlarged


across concrete canvases


 


merely bandages on leaking wounds


sky staring at you stars wide open


moon sticking tongue at you


like Cam said U mad?


Stretch out tight fibers


That cause you to shiver at your shadow


Quiver at the street magic


Of motion disappearing into fat air


 


Last light from Harlem


Fighter plane above


How can you refuse the wind


Ever abandon love


Not for a second just blink to get reminded


Of how truth tastes bittersweet


Accept it though stubborn


 


Shut thunder up born


Embrace your muse pushing you


To higher galaxies


If you went outerspace you might


Pass away cause you failed astronomy twice


Fingers frozen chosen to scribe you to survive


Behind every door there’s an open mic


Just for you to find it and love


It always feel so right